Family Meeting on the First Day of Summer: A Transcript
By Ashlee Gadd
@ashleegadd
Mom: Okay you guys, come take a seat, we need to get on the same page about Summer Rules™️.
Oldest child: <<dramatic sigh>> Ugh.
Middle child: How can we earn more stars?
Mom: I'll get to that.
Middle child: Also, can me and Evan do a lemonade stand today?
Youngest child: Mom, when can Maggie come over for a playdate?
Mom: Um, I'm not sure, let's talk about that later. Okay, first item on the agenda. Screens need to be off at 9 a.m.
Oldest child: What if I sleep past 9?
Mom: Well, if you sleep past 9, you won't get any screen time in the morning.
Oldest child: WHAT?! Not even while I eat my breakfast?!!!!
Mom: Honey, if morning TV is really important to you, I suggest setting your alarm for 8 or 8:30—
Oldest child: BUT I WANT TO SLEEP IN DURING THE SUMMER!
Mom: Pretty sure sleeping until 8:30 is sleeping in.
Oldest child: Not for me.
Mom: Moving on. What needs to be done before afternoon video games?
Youngest child: Read for 30 minutes! Wait, mom, is it okay if I read a graphic noh-vel?
Oldest child: Presley, that's not how you say it. It's NAH-vel.
Mom: Honey you can read all the graphic novels you like, but they don't count for the reading challenge, remember? What else do you need to do before video games?
Youngest child: Vacuum our rooms?
Mom: No, although … that would be nice, wouldn't it? If you want to vacuum, I definitely won't stop you.
Oldest child: <<rolls eyes>>
Middle child: We have to create for 30 minutes, and play outside for 30 minutes.
Mom: Yes, and also do any morning chores, okay?
Oldest child: What if we forget though?
Mom: You won't forget. It's on the Skylight calendar and also on the Summer Rules document—which will be printed and taped to the wall right next to the Skylight.
Oldest child: But what if I still forget?
Mom: You won't forget. Okay. Next —this is just a reminder: video game time is a privilege, not a right. That means it can be taken away for any reason—like whining, bickering, bad attitudes or bad behavior. Okay???
All three: <<solemn silence>>
Oldest child: Ew, Presley, did you just fart?
Youngest child: <<sheepish grin>>
Mom: One other thing we're going to be working on this summer is self-regulation. Do you guys know what that means?
All three: <<empty stares>>
Mom: That means YOU are responsible for setting your video game timer. Remember, Mom and Dad are going to be working—the whole summer—and we do not have the capacity to manage your screen time for you. If Mom or Dad catch you playing video games without a timer set, you will immediately lose five stars. Got it?
Oldest child: But what if my friends come over?
Mom: Your friends are welcome here any day, any time, but the same video game rules apply. Okay, moving on! Mom and Dad are going to make "do not disturb" signs for our doors. If the sign is on the door, that means we are working, and you should not interrupt us unless it's an emergency. What do you guys think qualifies as an emergency?
Youngest child: Remember that one time when my curtain fell down in my room, and I went to tell dad, but he was on a meeting, and then I had to say, "DAD, IT IS LITERALLY AN EMERGENCY!!!"
Dad: That was not an emergency.
Oldest child: Or when Luna ran through the screen door and broke it?
Mom: I mean, sure, both of those things required attention, I guess, but when we say "emergency" we mean: bleeding. Blood. Lots of blood. Scraping your knee is not an emergency. A sibling being annoying is not an emergency. Wondering what is for dinner is not an emergency. Okay? Blood is an emergency.
Youngest child: But what if I lose a tooth and there is a little bit of blood in my mouth?
Mom: That is not an emergency. Just put the tooth in the bathroom somewhere safe. Next rule: Mom and Dad will happily take turns driving you to the bowling alley, the movie theater, the mall, Skyzone, etc. It is your responsibility to make your own plans, and, if possible, coordinate a ride home. Ev, did you hear me?
Oldest child: <<barely nods>>
Middle child: Wait, can I get dropped off at the movies by myself, too?
Mom: Um …
Dad: Yeah, does that apply to both boys?
Mom: I don't think so. Honey, you have a very long leash within the neighborhood. And all of your friends live close by. You can bike wherever you want … Jaxon's house, Evan's house, Jersey Mikes, Starbucks, the park, okay?
Middle child: <<nods>>
Mom: Finally, last thing. We're trying something new this summer. Any day that you want to forfeit video game time to hang out with your friends in real life, you will get 10 stars for that.
Middle child: TEN STARS?!!!!!! ACTUALLY?!!!!!
Mom: Yes, ten stars.
Oldest child: If we forfeit video game time, do we still have to read for 30 minutes?
Mom: Yes.
Oldest: SERIOUSLY?!!!
Mom: Do you guys know what dopamine is?
All three: <<blank stares>>
Dad: It's a happy chemical in your brain.
Youngest child: Well I have lots of dopamine because I am happy all the time!!!
Mom: Every time you guys play video games, you get a hit of dopamine. So this is me offering a different option: you can also get dopamine from hanging out with your friends and earning stars.
Youngest child: <<burps>>
Middle child: Dude, I'm gonna forfeit my video game time every day. I already have 63 stars. I'm going to get so much Chipotle this summer.
Oldest child: Stop bragging.
Mom: This concludes the family meeting. Any questions? Is there anything you need from us to make your summer better?
Oldest child: Can I get Instagram?
Mom: No.
Words and photo by Ashlee Gadd. Ashlee Gadd is a wife, mother of three, believer, and the founder of Coffee + Crumbs. When she's not working or vacuuming Cheerios out of the carpet, she loves making friends on the Internet, eating cereal for dinner, and rearranging bookshelves. Her book, Create Anyway: the Joy of Pursuing Creativity in the Margins of Motherhood, is available wherever books are sold. You can also keep up with her work on Substack.