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Confession: I am writing this introduction frantically during my children’s 30 minutes of reading/quiet time on their summer chore charts. Summer comes early in the South—it’s been in the 90s for three weeks and we’ve been out of school for 10 days already. And while there are parts of that I find appealing (bring on the slower-paced mornings and afternoons by the pool), there are parts that I do not … like having my children here 24/7. I am a creature of structure and routine who also craves significant amounts of alone time to feel sane, and all of that is very much at odds with motherhood. Summer stretches me, and I’m not a terribly flexible person to begin with. I try very hard to control the chaos. We have the aforementioned chore charts, some scattered childcare dates over the next 10 weeks, and I’ve signed us up for free bowling and printed off the $1 movie schedule. But despite my preparation and planning, I still looked at the clock today expecting it to be about lunch time and it was 9:47 a.m. And it’s only May, I thought mournfully as I sighed. I also recently started working out with my sister-in-law, Cassidy. She’s studying for her personal trainer certification and, in exchange for some website building assistance, offered to take me on as her guinea pig client at no charge. I should mention here that I haven’t had a consistent workout routine since college and my athletic ability hovers somewhere around the lower half of average. Clearly I am getting the better end of this bargain. We start and end each workout with stretching, and over time I’ve noticed something—stretching feels worse in the beginning than at the end. When my muscles are cold and tight, it hurts to try and touch my toes. I have to modify some of the moves and I can’t hold any of the poses for very long. But at the end, when I’m hot and sweaty and feel more than a little like dying, what was once hard becomes less so. I can touch my toes with ease, and feel the relief of the stretch. Now that I think about it, there’s actually more than a few similarities between summer break with my kids and a 50-minute circuit workout with Cassidy: the muttered curses, the feeling that the minutes seem more like hours, and the pain of forcing myself to do something my body and mind aren’t used to. But then there’s also that moment when something new and unfamiliar becomes routine. I begin to feel more like myself. In a workout, that happens around minute 37. In summer, that happens around mid-June. I loosen up enough that a little stretch feels good. Cheers to surviving the summer, friends. May you find yourself unexpectedly flexible when you need it the most. Xo,
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Jennifer Batchelor, C+C Writer & Content Director
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"Don’t worry! This tour is very safe, unless you count dying on the inside." McSweeney’s strikes again with the toddler’s guide for a trip out the front door.
Cultivate now has Write the Word Journals for kids—Indiana and Ashlee both have one and love the creativity and conversation they’re sparking.
Let’s talk about shorts, ladies. We are forever on the hunt for something between Daisy Duke and those shorts Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman. Currently we’re digging this CJLA pair, these drawstring linen ones, this Target find, this cuffed pair, and these denim shortalls. Can’t even with the shorts? Try a denim skirt or a skort.
Meet Karli, the new Sesame Street muppet in foster care.
We’re intrigued by GoHenry and Greenlight, two companies that make allowance-giving more modern than dropping a couple of bucks in the piggy bank once a week.
We just wrapped up a three-episode postpartum series on the podcast. Catch up with eps on postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and postpartum recovery, then check out this album created by a mom after her PPD experience.
Here’s a printable summer bucket list for all you fun moms out there … and an anti-summer bucket list perspective for those who would rather die than purposely make their summer jam packed with to-dos.
We like the idea of natural deodorant, but come summertime the execution can sometimes leave a little to be desired. Katie swears by Meet Mr. Pitts, Anna J. is a Native fan, and Ashlee just picked up this aluminum-free version from Dove.
Baby on the way? We love the idea behind Swaddle + Swoon’s brand new baby show. They are pretty much throwing a fake baby shower so you can experience local and trusted brands in person. Think sipping mocktails, enjoying sweet treats and giveaways, plus tons to explore. Use promo code “MORECOFFEE” at Swaddle +Swoon for $15 off VIP tickets to their events in both Dallas and Atlanta.
It’s summer y’all, and that means the struggle to keep kids occupied is gettin’ R-E-A-L. Anna Q. recently introduced her children to the magic that is an old school Etch-a-Sketch with excellent results. Other group hits have included a Unicorn Ring Toss Game, Pop the Pig, and Think Fun’s Rush Hour Game. Books on our (collective) nightstands: Valencia & Valentine, Bitter Orange, Restoration House, Searching for Sunday, Burnout, and our Exhale book club pick, Everything I Never Told You.
Every conversation between a parent and a child in four conversations.
Kate Hudson has a fashion line? Eco-friendly with free shipping and free returns and a Free People vibe has our attention piqued.
Whole30 on your summer to do list? This recipe isn’t awful.
Two moms who are execs from AirBnB have started their own transparent formula company.
Little Luxury: This $5 nail polish is our current favorite for fun colors and staying power.
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Calling all creative moms! Aka: ALL MOMS! As you probably know by now, we firmly believe motherhood and art can coexist. In fact, we’re going to take it a step further: we believe it is entirely possible—and worthwhile!—to pursue a creative life alongside motherhood, for the enrichment of both experiences. Last year we launched Exhale to invest in a community of women who wanted to come alongside us in this pursuit, and what a delight it has been to watch this group grow. Together we are making beautiful things each month, talking about everything from how we make space for creativity to how we handle rejection. This year we added even more perks to our membership, like a monthly book club (!), a Slack channel, and even some good ole fashioned blog hops! With summer upon us, we thought it would be the perfect time to recharge our creative juices, which is why we’re inviting you to join us for a FREE 5-day creativity challenge. Simply enter your e-mail here, and you’ll receive a mini creativity lesson + challenge each day from June 10-14. Follow along on our (new!) Exhale Instagram account, or by using #kickstartourcreativity.
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Mom Hack:
Potty Training Tips From A Near-Expert
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Sonya (a mom who has successfully potty-trained 4 kids) sent a 12-minute Voxer message to Abbie (currently diving into potty training her first child) on how to potty train. Then we decided to elevate her wisdom to the masses, so here’s an abbreviated transcript of Sonya’s tips and tricks. Here’s what she suggests to get started: First things first: buy all the potties. A Standalone Potty, a Fun Over-The-Seat Potty, AND a Travel Potty = familiarity = comfort = increased likelihood of peeing in potty even while out and about. Books Elmo’s Potty Time (watch on Amazon here) Toddler Underwear (Even better? Go together to pick out “Big Kid Undies”) Pull-Ups M&Ms (or a small treat of your choice for bribing, ahem rewarding)
The Process: Prepare yourself. A lot of kids are ready to potty train, but you need to be mentally prepared to stay home for two to three days to seize all the moments, so to speak. Accept that there WILL be accidents.
Pick a date. Make sure to tell the child the plan.
Biologically, bladders and bowels start moving 20-30 minutes after eating/drinking. So, that first morning, feed your kid breakfast. Put her in underwear (or leave her naked, your call). Twenty minutes later, put her on the potty in the living room and let her watch Elmo’s Potty. It doesn’t have to be T.V., but do what you have to in order to convince your kid to sit on the potty long enough for something to happen. And if it doesn’t, it’s fine! But be close by so the second they start to pee, you can grab them and put them on the closest potty.
Be ready with M&Ms! Sonya rewarded her kids with two M&Ms each time they peed. Yes, even if they went 27 times a day. And when they sat down but didn’t tinkle? She suggests still giving an M&M as a reward for trying. Poop? Three whole M&M’s! (Plus an insane amount of clapping and cheering and hugging!)
Repeat. Frequently. At least once an hour, but as frequently as every 15 minutes. Eventually, your kid will begin to pair the need-to-pee sensation with the act of peeing, and they can start telling you when they need/want to go sit on the potty!
Celebrate all pees and poops: in the toilet or no. Have a script for when accidents happen: “Yay, you’re peeing! Next time, we’re going to try to get the pee in the potty.” Elmo has a great “Accidents Happen” song.
REMEMBER: You are in charge. Instead of “Do you want to sit on the potty?” say, “Okay! Now it’s time to sit on the potty!” Make it fun, but don’t make it optional.
Poop often takes longer. Don’t fret. They’ll get it.
And remember: every kid potty trains at some point. Your kid will not go off to college still in diapers. You (and your child!) can do this.
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We have survived May. It’s time to celebrate June. Sure, you could listen to this while you’re driving or doing chores, but I promise the music will sound better if you listen while drinking something cold and noticing the way the sun feels on your skin. Happy Summer, ladies. Listen now.
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Callie’s Summer Reading Recs
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I love lists and systems–tools that help me follow the steps and keep order no matter what it is I’m doing. I kid you not, I was so jealous of the Catholics growing up because they got to pray the rosary–something I understood was a gorgeous, beaded necklace designed to help keep one focused as one spoke (or pleaded with) an entity one could not see.
My point is, I like the box. I like boundaries. I like to know my lane and I like to stay in it; keep it nice and clean so I can do my work.
So here comes summer threatening me with its flexibility, its non-schedule, its fly by the seat of its pants and I am breaking into a sweat. Summer is for relaxing—a word I am quite certain I am allergic to.
Let’s put it this way: I brought Sylvia Plath’s unabridged journal to the beach.
Summering and summer reading are not my jam.
I make up for how tightly I am wound by finding lists of books to read during the summer. The lists make me believe I am in fact relaxing and enjoying myself while at the same time following the rules. (What rules you ask? The ones I make up in my head and stick to like flies to, well, you know what I mean.)
One summer I read through an Oprah Book Club list. That was the summer of Maeve Binchy, and also the summer I wrote John Krakauer telling him how much I loved his book, Into the Wild, and he wrote back (I still have the handwritten note).
Another summer I read, actually devoured, Phillipa Gregory’s historical fiction books on Henry VIII and company.
I always have a list with me when I head to the library, but no matter the rules and intentions I’ve set for myself, I always end up in the Young Adult section. It is these stories that remind me of the daring days before I realized how rigid I am, and it is these stories that stir something lost and reckless and lovely within me. I never leave the library without at least one of them.
That’s as close to relaxing as I get.
I suggest the above titles (maybe not Sylvia Plath’s journal—that’s just crazy—save that for the fall), but because of my love for lists, here are my recommended summer reads for those that are looking to be stirred (and maybe shaken): Matched by Ally Condie
To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series by Ann Brashares
The Shiver Trilogy (and Sinner) by Maggie Stiefvater
Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell
Death Prefers Blondes by Caleb Roehrig (Fun fact – I’m great friends with Caleb’s sister, and on the night my book, Twirl came out, Caleb was in town giving a reading and joined us at a neighborhood bar to celebrate. He is hilarious, and a fantastic writer.)
True Believer by Virginia Euwer Wolf
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets to the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz
The Crossover by Kwame Alexander
The Wednesday Wars by Gary D. Schmidt
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FYI: Our next issue is reserved for Patrons only! Did you know you can join the club of C+C superfans for as little as $1/month? Sign up here. And we’ll be on sabbatical in the month of August, so if you’re not a Patron, we’ll see you right back in your inbox the first Saturday in September. Have a friend who would love this newsletter? She can sign up right here. Until next time!
Love,
Coffee + Crumbs
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